"Fool me once…" (Part 1)

For the first time in my life, I'm dreading a first date.

A little over 5 years ago, I went on a first date with a librarian at K-State who is not a woman of faith.  I debated whether or not to go on a second (readers of this blog were split 50/50 as to whether or not I should), but ultimately decided to give it a go.  She was the first person not holding to a similar belief that I had gone on a date with in 10 years and I remember questioning aloud if I should even be open to the idea of a first date with such a person, let alone a second.  This one is different.

At this time four years ago, I met someone I quickly became very interested in.  We met at church (so faith wasn't an issue) and she had a heart for traveling and serving others.  I eventually asked her out and was encouraged by how quickly and excitedly she gave out her contact information.  It was a busy summer for both of us with me traveling to the Great White North and she traveling on medical missions to Central America.  After several weeks of travel and playing phone tag, she dropped a bombshell: she was dating someone else.  The experience left me jaded.

A couple of weeks ago I met up with the Deer Slayer and was finally introduced to the Jr. Slayer.  He's a friendly tike who likes to bounce and is easily excited by whirling ceiling fans.  I was in Denver to pick up a couple of friends at DIA, so lunch with a friend made the trip that much more worth while.

I had a couple of hours to spare after lunch and decided to use them to catch up with some online work.  It should be noted that when I am 'working online' I take occasional breaks to check ESPN and personal emails.  This particular Saturday was no different…except for who had been in touch.

The first was a young lady I had met online that I hope to write more about in the future.  There's a story with her, but it is not directly related to this story other than to say it made my day.

The second one wasn't a note per se, but rather a 'checking in'.  The dating website I'm currently on notifies me if someone views my profile and, well, this young lady, who happens to reside in Fort Collins, viewed my profile.  A week later she asked me out.  Today we are meeting up for coffee.  In case you're wondering who she is, she's the same girl that left me jaded several years ago.

The situation in the present is even more complicated than it may seem…or it may not be.  Because the story is rather cloudy, I'll hold off until later to share the remainder of the story.

$30 Down the Drain?

New Year's Eve ended up being rather uneventful; it was spent in a car.  Brad and Keira, a young married couple that I'm friends with here in town, and I traveled up to Winter Park to spend the day skiing and snowshoeing respectfully.  We got a late start, and so as the clock struck midnight, we were still 20 minutes out.

As noted in my last post, I was eagerly anticipating the coming of the new year.  A time to start anew if only symbolically.  One of the items I've been debating for the past 6 months or so is whether or not to give online dating a second go, or rather, a "third try".

Several years ago I gave eHarmony a shot.  This was when I was still at K-State and hadn't had a date for a couple of years.  Although it was nice to know I wasn't the only one out there, nothing materialized.  This was in large part, or at least "I believe" this was in large part, due to the fact that at the time eHarmony did not allow one to browse profiles freely and the settings were such that in order to include the KC metro area, I had to include the entire nation.

Two years ago I gave it a second go, this time on Christian Cafe.  My experience this time around materialized with two dates that, unfortunately, were both complete disasters.  The first was with a young lady in Denver who was less than honest on her profile.  The second was a young lass (she is Irish) up in Bozeman that left me devastated.  Although only a handful of you know the details, do know these two experiences not only all but destroyed a self-confidence in dealings with the opposite sex that was already on shaky grounds, it also left me leery of dating online ever again.

Enter 2014.  They say that time heals all wounds and in many respects I believe this is true.  So last weekend I contacted 3 of my closest friends asking their advice on whether or not I should give it a go.  In no particular order, here are their responses:

FRIEND #1…"'My Wife' says to not date long distance if you can help it and to meet them in person ASAP so you know who they really are."

FRIEND #2…"I say go for it but I'd recommend being forthright with your faith in Christ (in your profile)."

FRIEND #3…"Go for it!"

On the advice of these 3 friends, and my own new found optimism, I decided to give it a go once again, this time on Christian Mingle.

Unfortunately, not only does time heal wounds, but over time we also have a tendency to forget the lessons that should have been learned long ago.  After a week online and zero responses, I am asking myself which of these views will ultimately rule the third time around around.  Here's hoping it's the former rather than the latter.