1-19...

My previous post is a bit of an exaggeration: I am 0-18 for Saturday (today) whereas I am 1-19, or maybe even 2-20, for the weekend.

Yesterday, a "friend" and I met for a late morning coffee.  I say friend in quotes because this is someone I was pursuing last year at this time, continued to pursue for another month, and then informed her that I would not be pursuing her anymore and found her, oddly enough, somewhat taken aback.  I say "oddly enough" because she had been very guarded and given very little evidence that she was interested in a relationship after initially starting the process.

I later learn that she had been sleeping with someone she works with the entire time I was getting to know her and even took a two-week journey to Europe to sleep with a former flame as the two of them traveled across several countries together.  There may have been others.

She's continued to flirt with me ever since.

That's the "2-20" as the "1-19" really comes into play last night.  A supervisor from my time at Africa Nazarene University wanted to introduce me to a young lady she knew in KC.  Long story short, I asked the girl out and we met for coffee at an art and music event last night.

Many of you are aware that I fell head-over-heals for someone last summer.  She ended the relationship last summer with a text and destroyed me in the process.  Since then, friends have introduced me to three women none of whom do I have the slightest interest in pursuing a relationship with.  The first was a bad enough match that I was actually a bit insulted.  The second comes from a Muslim background which makes me wonder what my friend was thinking.  And last night's match has a weight problem to a point where I'm not interested in a second date (hopefully I share that last one in a sensitive enough manner not to offend anyone).

The breakup last summer was crushing enough that I've started seeing a counselor recently.  I simply can not make sense of it.  And, yet, last night I may have had a breakthrough as I was sipping an Americano.

I was sharing how my current church is "ok"--lots of things I appreciate, but nothing that I truly "love" or am passionate about.  This is in stark contrast to my first stint in Salt Lake which was marked with a memorable experience at a church--a church and church body I truly loved.  On a related note, I will always be grateful that I recognized the moment for what it was, a season in which I had a church home as perfect as this one ("perfect for me").

My point being, maybe that's how I need to view my time last summer with Rebecca...a time in my life that will never be matched again.

But does that also mean that if I am ever to enter into another relationship that I will have to allow myself to accept someone I don't truly "love" nor am passionate about?  That's more of a rhetorical question, but I'm still open to comments here.

0-18...

For those of you familiar with the Myers-Briggs, I'm an ENFP *.  I enjoy some time alone, but not much...and definitely not as much as I'm given on a regular basis.

My time in Salt Lake is marked by two very different experiences:

University of Utah...I originally moved to SLC to pursue my master's degree in geography.  If I'm honest, I didn't take my studies that seriously and pursued personal relationships instead.  I have good memories of this time period.

SLCC...After two-and-a-half years of study, I left the Wasatch Front for Peace Corps Uzbekistan.  Because my stint was cut short (evacuated shortly after 9/11), I found myself in Utah once again this time teaching at SLCC.  Life was different as many of my friends had graduated during that time and I was no longer an active member of the student body.

I bring this up because there was a marked difference in the amount of social interaction I had pre and post Peace Corps.  Academia has not been kind to me in that sense.  K-State was a marked period of alone time (although it's tough to complete a PhD in 4.5 yrs without) with Wyoming only intensifying a feeling of being isolated to a point that my mom was concerned about my well being.

A move to Colorado helped, but proved to be a bandaid in the larger picture.

My return to Kansas has me concerned once again about my isolation.  Although I've had enjoyed as much people interaction living in Lawrence for 3 months as I did the previous 18 months in Johnson County (literally), I still spend far too many days alone with no one to talk to...and it's not for a lack of trying.  This week I was 0-18 in finding someone to spend time with.  With one exception (and maybe not even one), the reason was simple: family time.

Living in a city where one doesn't have family and doesn't know of anyone else who doesn't have family is rough...especially for an extrovert.

* The first link identifies Wash as an ENFP.  However, those of you who know me well know I am Malcolm Reynolds to a fault (minus the religion aspect).

Placing the Missing Link...

Much of my spare time this spring has been dedicated in making my house a home.  This past week I found myself wishing I had started with a series of "before" photos so I could document how much progress has been made.  It really has been a lot of work.

Dishes and large furniture were first and I completed this within a few days.  Blinds and drapes were next, although this was completed in 3 separate waves*.  A couple of months later I finally had a bed to call my own.  That last one likely sounds worse than it really was: "my bed" became the "guest bed".  In other words, it took two months before I had a new mattress and bed frame and another couple of weeks before I had something other than a sleeping bad to use as a blanket (no excuses on that one).

But all of these projects pale in comparison to one in particular: the master bathroom mirror.

Upon moving, I discovered the sellers had taken the master bedroom mirror with them.  This was an instant sore point, one I was reminded of every time I used the bathroom.  My realtor was unwilling to press the issue with the sellers which meant I was left the option of litigation and that was more time and effort than I was willing to exert.  I searched in vain for several months to find one that would fit the dimensions of my bathroom and had finally accepted that I would need to have one custom made.

However, one last look at the mirrors in IKEA proved me wrong.

On a trip that was meant to buy a towel rack and nothing more, I found a mirror that had only recently been added to the department--one than happened to fit the dimensions of my bathroom perfectly.

It may seem trivial, or a luxury, or maybe even nothing more than an object of vanity, but to have a mirror mounted on that wall meant the hard feelings I had harbored could finally be buried.  I smile every time I look into it.

Now, onto the yard.

*The lack of blinds was confined to common areas as there were minimal window coverings in the bedrooms when I moved in.