On trust...

Trusting someone requires a person to open himself/herself up to the possibility of being hurt later.  It is a step of faith in every sense of the word.

Sunday was not a good day.  For those of you who belong to Broncos nation, you know what I'm referring to.  For the latter half of the afternoon, during the debacle that was the first half, I was miserable.  And yet even as the situation continued to deteriorate, the second half ended up being not nearly as excruciating, and I dare say it was…enjoyable.

My mom always described me as a trusting soul.  For whatever reason, believing another and their version of the story came easily.  Somehow, even very early on, I realized it often came down to one's perspective; the proverb "never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins" (I quote it as I learned it in elementary school) registered deeply within me.

I made up my mind Saturday night that I was going to let the young lady I had been on a few dates with know that I was going to stop seeing her until this other guy was completely out of the picture.  I texted her late and suggested we chat sometime after the big game.  To make a long texting story short, the next day the planned phone call became watching the second half of the game together.

She was very warm and welcoming upon my arrival.  I had assumed when she said "Super Bowl Party" that there would be 10-15 people there.  Instead, it was the young married couple she is friends with, their 2 youngest sons, my 'date', and her son.  Somehow at the end of the game we ended up alone and I took the opportunity to share with her my thoughts on the situation.  I explained that I was enjoying getting to know her, that mutual friends (which include her pastor, who is also her small group leader, and a married couple I'm very close with) spoke highly of her, but as long as this other guy was in the picture I was going to hold off on getting to know her for the time being.

She responded, quite firmly, that she was (and I quote) "100%…done" with him the biggest reason being that he's an atheist and that she knew she needed a man of faith in her life.  She added that she had been praying for me for some time and believed God had brought me back into her life for a reason.  I trusted her.

Children are amazing with their honesty.  They're simply too naive to know how and when to filter thoughts.  When the end of the evening came and it was bedtime for the little ones, I offered to help take some of her belongings out to her car.  As I was standing outside with her son waiting for her to come on out, he asked me "Are you coming home with us tonight?"  My response was simply, "No, not tonight."  But I was tempted to add "…I'm a Christian, and things are going to be different from now on."

Last night, we had dinner together.  She had a number of questions regarding my travels and family and the conversation flowed.  We discussed past relationships once again and I could sense something was a tad off.  However, the night ended well and I know I had caught her attention on the way home (in a good way) and she suggested several things we might do or places we might go next time.

But as I said, something seemed a bit off midway through the night.  This morning, my fears were confirmed with a newspaper article and video.  Even if she has been truthful in proclaiming she is done with this guy, as a friend of mine put it:

"Not good.  This just seems rushed and most importantly unhealthy for [her son] to see or be made aware of another man in their lives."

My mom would often add my personal character trait of trust can be to a fault.  For the record, I would like to continue seeing and getting to know this girl.  But I think this is one of those times where Mom likely knows best.

"Fool me once…" (Part 2)

Generational music is interesting.  There are musical acts that I listened to as I was growing up that I still enjoy listening to, such as U2, Gordon Lightfoot, and John Denver, but then there are others, such at Huey Lewis & the News (still a fan of Picture This) and The Hooters (loved! their debut album), that I don't listen to nearly as much as I once did.  I assume most people can relate.

But along the way there have been a handful of acts or albums that I have discovered well after their heyday.  Peter, Paul, & Mary come to mind as does Fleetwood Mac's Rumors--which has become one of my all-time favorite albums.  One additional act I (re-)discovered later in life is The Who.

In the words of Pete Townshend: "Won't get fooled again!"

In my last post I was about to embark on a short walk to a local coffee house to meet up with a young lady.  A few highlights I previously shared:

• Yes, she did ask me out for coffee.
• Yes, she did ask me out after viewing my profile on an online Christian dating website.

Our first meeting went well and I enjoyed the afternoon conversation.  She texted me shortly thereafter and we continued to do so over the next several days.  We chatted on the phone mid-week and I asked her if she would be interested in going out for a drink this weekend.  Last night, we followed up on this and had a nice time once again.

But, as I noted, there was much more to the story than I let on:

• Already taken?…I had thought she was currently dating someone based on some FB photos I had seen over the past 6 months.
• Suspicions minds?…after viewing his FB profile page (he has an open page), my suspicions only increased.  Not only was his profile pic one of the two of them cuddling, his relationship status stated he was seeing this young lady.

So what exactly was she doing on a dating website?  Last night I asked.

This morning I followed up with the other girl I had met on this site.  Two weeks ago she was about to wrap up her membership on this site and requested some time off after a few less than stellar experiences (which in my experiences is completely understandable), but had left a friendly invite to follow up via FB or with her personal email address after a short while…and so today I did.  Sometime between that request (which precedes the coffee invite from the other girl) and now, she not only rejoined the site, but had been on several dates with a couple of guys and started a relationship via Skype with a guy currently residing in New Zealand.  We had a nice chat, she even stated (repeatedly) that she would like to do this again sometime soon, but I think it unwise.

The girl I went out with last night had some very flattering things to say about me and stated both verbally and via text that she would like to see me again.  But my gut tells me this is one to let go of as well.  I really don't know how I found myself in this position, one where the only dates I'm likely to get are ones with women who are already seeing someone, but that seems to be my lot in life.

Next Post: Dating on the other side of the hill.