The Elusive Second Date...
This past January, I went on a second date for the first time in nearly a decade. This was an individual I was interested in and it was nice to give it a second shot.
Overall, however, I have found it difficult, if not painfully brutal, to find a second date. Granted, I am no Casanova. My dates have been sparsely scattered over the years. But there have been more than enough opportunities to have a second date more than once every 10 years.
For the record, there have been women that I was not interested in having a second date with. The most recent example took place last fall. I was set up on a blind date with someone I was told shared a number of similar interests. And we did! But...there was an age difference.
The lady at my church who set us up was, and is, very well-meaning, but I don't think she realized the age difference. When the subject of a second date came up, I explained that although I enjoyed the meeting, the difference in age was more than I was comfortable with at present. She then asked my age. I told her. And she shrieked.
Thankfully, this expression of surprise was loud enough not only for everyone to hear, but also disturbing enough for everyone present that they felt compelled to stare for several minutes afterwards just to make sure everything was ok.
This was the exception (at present, I can't think of any others who screamed in terror at the thought of spending time with me again). Why not more second dates? Is it because I am overly selective? Maybe.
Those who read this blog know I have a bit of a reputation for being, shall we say, selective when it comes to dating. Over the years, I have created a list of qualities I value and look for in women. I won't review the list here, but it may surprise many of you to know that it contains only a handful of items. Point being, the list does exist and I do hold strongly to it.
I went on a date this past Monday with a young lady in her early 30s. She actually asked me out (which is flattering) and we really had a great time! She is very attractive and intelligent (holding two Master's degrees--one of which being a terminal degree). She is also a divorcee with a 12 year daughter.
The quality I value the most in a woman: faith
Believe it or not, I think I'm able to overlook the fact that she's experienced a divorce and is a single parent. But I'm struggling with the issue of her faith...or lack there of.
The question is now whether or not to go for the all elusive second date.
Overall, however, I have found it difficult, if not painfully brutal, to find a second date. Granted, I am no Casanova. My dates have been sparsely scattered over the years. But there have been more than enough opportunities to have a second date more than once every 10 years.
For the record, there have been women that I was not interested in having a second date with. The most recent example took place last fall. I was set up on a blind date with someone I was told shared a number of similar interests. And we did! But...there was an age difference.
The lady at my church who set us up was, and is, very well-meaning, but I don't think she realized the age difference. When the subject of a second date came up, I explained that although I enjoyed the meeting, the difference in age was more than I was comfortable with at present. She then asked my age. I told her. And she shrieked.
Thankfully, this expression of surprise was loud enough not only for everyone to hear, but also disturbing enough for everyone present that they felt compelled to stare for several minutes afterwards just to make sure everything was ok.
This was the exception (at present, I can't think of any others who screamed in terror at the thought of spending time with me again). Why not more second dates? Is it because I am overly selective? Maybe.
Those who read this blog know I have a bit of a reputation for being, shall we say, selective when it comes to dating. Over the years, I have created a list of qualities I value and look for in women. I won't review the list here, but it may surprise many of you to know that it contains only a handful of items. Point being, the list does exist and I do hold strongly to it.
I went on a date this past Monday with a young lady in her early 30s. She actually asked me out (which is flattering) and we really had a great time! She is very attractive and intelligent (holding two Master's degrees--one of which being a terminal degree). She is also a divorcee with a 12 year daughter.
The quality I value the most in a woman: faith
Believe it or not, I think I'm able to overlook the fact that she's experienced a divorce and is a single parent. But I'm struggling with the issue of her faith...or lack there of.
The question is now whether or not to go for the all elusive second date.
posted by The Bearded | 7:45 PM
7 Comments:
Regarding the shrieking woman, I am not sure that I ever heard that story. You're going to have to tell me more later. Regarding second dates in general, I can relate to your frustration. Things often seem to be more complicated than they should be. Regarding the current woman, that's a tough one. The lack of faith makes it unlikely that it will ever really go anywhere, but it's probably hard when you find someone interesting in other areas. As usual, things are usually complicated.
My last sentence there is directly from the department of redundancy department.
Okay silly man...if she doesn't know Jesus then you don't need to date her!! Enough said? :) You need to hold to the shared faith value always and forever!
Lack of faith? Where does she stand?
RYAN...Things always seem to be more complicated than they need to be.
BTW: I love the fact that you notice your mistakes when you make a mistake.
NOEL...My wish, and prayer, is that you always remain this honest with me.
Nice talking to you. I'll look forward to catching up sometime this fall.
CHRIS..."lack of faith" more or less means "no faith at present" (or next to none)
Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope all is well.
Since you value straight-forwardness...
God doesn't owe you a wife, you do owe Him your humble obedience and submission. Even if she came to faith tomorrow would she be in a position to encourage and challenge you? To be your partner and complement the ministry God has given you?
Just wait until you get to Wyo.... 45 min from Ft. Collins... 2 hrs from Denver. God has bigger plans for you my friend, and those plans include a woman who loves the Broncos
I can relate to your frustration as well, on all counts. From experience, friend, let me encourage you to continue to be "overly selective" when it comes to some things. Most of all, faith. That said, there's an obvious difference between dating just to date, and dating to find a life partner. Have fun :)
(I realize this may now be a non-issue, but you know me. Gotta put my two cents in.)
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