On Second Shots...
Sometimes in life, we need a second shot. I have found sharing my experiences via posts is one of those areas in life where I definitely need a 'mulligan'.
In case you're curious, I went on the second date. I enjoyed the second date as much as the first. She really is an interesting individual. In case you're concerned (or simply 'wondering'), I was never considering a relationship with this young lady.
I appreciated the comments that followed the previous post. Really! But I did discover that my thoughts were not as clearly expressed as they were organized in my head. What I was contemplating was whether or not going on a date with someone who does not share a deep-seeded faith was something to be attempted or not. A relationship was never in question for me...just the question of a date.
Based on responses I received via comments, e-mails, and conversations, I would say my friends are roughly split 50-50 as to whether or not I should have gone on the date with her in the first place (let alone the second date).
On a related note, a question I had brought up with a friend of mine this past spring resurfaced through this process...the question of whether or not I believe God owes me.
This is a very difficult question to address and I venture to guess that on some level I do. Sometimes (often?) I feel as if I am obedient through a trying process that I should be justly rewarded in this life. I hate admitting this, but it is true and probably no more evident in my life than in the area of relationships.
In one of his letters, Paul spoke of struggling with an issue time and again. There is a lot of speculation as to what Paul's thorn was. There is no question as to what my struggle is. My thorn, for better or worse, is singleness.
A number of friends and family members have commented on how Laramie might be the place where I finally meet someone. After years of vocational training and nomadic wanderings, many believe this journey will have a happy ending. Maybe. But my concern is that I will expect it rather than find contentment and peace in waiting.
In case you're curious, I went on the second date. I enjoyed the second date as much as the first. She really is an interesting individual. In case you're concerned (or simply 'wondering'), I was never considering a relationship with this young lady.
I appreciated the comments that followed the previous post. Really! But I did discover that my thoughts were not as clearly expressed as they were organized in my head. What I was contemplating was whether or not going on a date with someone who does not share a deep-seeded faith was something to be attempted or not. A relationship was never in question for me...just the question of a date.
Based on responses I received via comments, e-mails, and conversations, I would say my friends are roughly split 50-50 as to whether or not I should have gone on the date with her in the first place (let alone the second date).
On a related note, a question I had brought up with a friend of mine this past spring resurfaced through this process...the question of whether or not I believe God owes me.
This is a very difficult question to address and I venture to guess that on some level I do. Sometimes (often?) I feel as if I am obedient through a trying process that I should be justly rewarded in this life. I hate admitting this, but it is true and probably no more evident in my life than in the area of relationships.
In one of his letters, Paul spoke of struggling with an issue time and again. There is a lot of speculation as to what Paul's thorn was. There is no question as to what my struggle is. My thorn, for better or worse, is singleness.
A number of friends and family members have commented on how Laramie might be the place where I finally meet someone. After years of vocational training and nomadic wanderings, many believe this journey will have a happy ending. Maybe. But my concern is that I will expect it rather than find contentment and peace in waiting.
posted by The Bearded | 4:13 PM
4 Comments:
As our small town mayor friend pointed out to me a while back, God seems to wait to give you something until you've realized that the 'something' is not what you need to be fulfilled. So, it might be that God's trying to teach you obedience, even unto a place that you would be okay with accepting singleness (if it were God's will) before He will actually reward you with the gift of a godly wife. It's a struggle, I know, but I'm right beside you in it. (Despite your attempts.)
And btw, to your question of 'should you have went on the date', I think the question is how the two of you viewed your relationship. If you led her into an expectation that the dates were going to lead into a serious relationship, I think you were probably in the wrong. But if not, I don't see a problem. I think each individuals definition of 'date' is what gets you many of the varied responses.
Yes, singleness can be a painful thorn. Yes, the illusion that God owes us dies hard. And yes, there is no telling what a move to the land of cowboys (and cowgirls) might bring. Keep me updated. BTW, Jenni commented today that I must miss you because I kept talking about you.
EX-CHAMPION OF THE MEDICINE BALL...I tend to agree with your 'small town mayor friend'. I think 'contentment' often preceeds 'blessing'.
DEER SLAYER...Burrito night will not be the same this fall.
Wow, deep thoughts! Humm...I agree with your x-lifting partner on the fact that if she was thinking "dates" might lead to a relationship and you weren't planing on a relationship then that was mean of you. ;)
On singleness...wow, so much can be said...one could fill a book with opinions and thoughts on it all. My thought is...relax and enjoy the journey. God is not punishing you or withholding something or waiting for you to shape up and be content...also I think part of it is up to you and part of it is up to him...that's the way He likes to do things quit often (or at least that's how I seem to see Him these days)...okay enough said. Be a cowboy and buck up...get out there and wrastle you up some cowgirls and maybe someday one of them will be one that you can't live without and she will feel the same :)
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